Is Beauty Bitchy?

Let’s talk about the b-word.

The one that can be loaded, weaponized, and even weirdly celebrated in certain corners of beauty culture: bitchy.

Beauty has long been stereotyped as superficial, competitive, and a little bit cutthroat. If you work in finance, people ask about your bonus. If you work in beauty, people ask if it’s “fun.”

(Spoiler: it is. But it’s also real work.)

From the outside, beauty often looks like it's just about free lip gloss and gift bags. We do get those things sometimes, but there’s a whole lot more going on that makes it a stressful career path, especially for those of us behind the scenes in brand and marketing.

On the inside, it’s product development delays, emotional labor, budget stress, and staying soft in a system that prizes perfection. Somewhere in this tension, the idea of beauty being “bitchy” creeps in. And we have to ask. Is that reputation fair? Or is it just the cost of being taken seriously in a feminine-coded industry?

Beauty Has a Reputation

Pop culture paints the beauty world with a sharp-tipped brush. Think The Devil Wears Prada or America’s Next Top Model. These are environments of high glamor and even higher toxicity. The message? Beauty is a battlefield. Be hot, be smart, but above all, be ruthless.

Even now, the industry still carries that reputation.

That it's cliquey, competitive, and not-so-nice behind the scenes. There's some truth to it, sure, but it's not the whole story.

We’ve come across people who treat beauty like a hierarchy — who gatekeep, exclude, and compete instead of collaborate. But we’ve also met the kindest, most generous people in this space. People who have quietly referred us for jobs for years. Who show up, vouch, and support without ever asking for credit.

And what rarely gets acknowledged is the emotional calculus behind it. In an industry where aesthetics are currency, perception becomes survival. Who gets to be included in that group photo, that panel, that PR box, that founder’s circle — it matters. And when value is constantly assigned based on how visible or relevant someone is, the social dynamics can mirror high school more than anyone wants to admit.

What complicates the narrative further is that beauty is deeply intimate. It’s not just spreadsheets — it’s skin, hair, identity. And that makes the work and the workplace emotionally charged. When someone's worth feels tied to how they’re perceived, it's no wonder the environment sometimes tilts toward defensiveness, projection, or performative confidence.

In our experience, both realities exist at once. And here’s what we’ve learned: you attract who you are. Yes, there are catty, performative people in every industry — but kindness tends to find kindness. And connection is currency.

Beauty Is Feminine Work in a Capitalist System

What we as an industry often fail to admit is that beauty work is still coded as feminine, which means it’s often undervalued. Even when it prints money.

People underestimate you until you show them your P&L. They assume you’re fluffy until you drop your decade of brand strategy experience. And even then, it’s not enough. They think your job is “fun” until they realize you’re running creative, ops, and DTC with a team of three and a prayer.

And when feminine-coded industries try to demand respect, they’re often branded as catty, dramatic, or “bitchy.”

That label becomes a way to dismiss the labor, the politics, the expertise, and the emotional intelligence it takes to build something beautiful and profitable. Especially for women, femmes, and queer people in this space, “being a bitch” is sometimes just shorthand for setting boundaries.

There’s also a long-standing cultural discomfort with feminine authority. When women or femmes lead with clarity, structure, or direct feedback — especially in creative environments — it’s often read as cold or harsh, rather than simply competent.

It’s no coincidence that “bitchy” becomes shorthand for any behavior that doesn’t cater to comfort. If someone doesn’t people-please, or if they protect their time, or if they say no without apologizing — it gets interpreted as difficult. But in male-dominated industries, those same traits are rebranded as strong leadership.

So Where Does the Bitchiness Come From?

It’s not all misperception. The industry does have its moments, and they’re often born from scarcity and survival.

When everyone’s fighting for the same retail shelf, influencer post, or VC check, it’s easy to slip into a scarcity mindset. And let’s be honest, the “mean girl” trope still gets clicks. TikTok creators go viral for “roasting” brands. Reviewers get praised for being savage. Brands clap back, hoping for a viral moment. It’s all part of the performance.

The nuance is that what looks like bitchiness is often just exhaustion, ambition, or creative frustration. When women hold power in beauty, they’re often navigating expectations to be soft and strategic, nurturing and no-nonsense. It’s an impossible double bind.

Beyond the Stereotype: Real Talk from Inside the Industry

We know beauty insiders who are brilliant, generous, and collaborative. We also know ones who weaponize aesthetics as currency and condescend to interns. Both exist.

But most people working in beauty are just trying to do great work in a high-pressure, image-obsessed environment that still struggles with representation, burnout, and unrealistic expectations.

And the actual truth? Beauty is full of caretakers. People who spend their days thinking about how to make others feel more confident, more seen, more powerful. That doesn’t mean the work is always soft. But it is often deeply human.

We get to work with women. Lots of women. Fellow entrepreneurs, founders, leaders, marketers, and artists. And it’s a gift, not a liability. You can be a girl’s girl in this space. You can show up with softness and still be taken seriously. You can want others to win and still win yourself.

When the industry makes space for collaboration over comparison, something shifts. Power gets redistributed. Resources get shared. And a lot of the posturing that once felt necessary simply... stops feeling urgent.

There’s something powerful that happens when we disregard the outdated stereotype of how women “should” behave in the workplace. Especially here, in an industry that already knows how to hold both strength and softness.

Personally, we prefer to collab over compete. It’s gotten us farther every single time.

So... Is Beauty Bitchy?

Sometimes. But more often than not, it’s just deeply misunderstood.

What gets called “bitchy” in beauty is often just boundary-setting. Or ambition. Or creative conviction. What gets dismissed as superficial is often some of the most nuanced emotional and cultural work a brand can do.

What gets laughed off as “just lip gloss” is a $600B global economy.

We don’t need to reject the word “bitchy” outright, but we do need to question why it gets applied so freely to women who are simply excellent at what they do. And if we need to be “that bitch” to be taken seriously? We’ll do it. But we’ll also rewrite the rules while we’re at it.

Beauty will always have its messy moments. But it’s also one of the few industries where working with mostly women is the norm, not the exception. That alone is worth celebrating. There are real challenges—but there’s also deep camaraderie, powerful creative vision, and the kind of generosity that builds actual careers.

Have you experienced the “bitchy” side of beauty, real or perceived?

Sound off in the comments or send us your stories.

We’re here to spill tea and shift culture.